Is your homeschool faith and family life legalistic?
I am sharing with you my honest thoughts about these subjects that will destroy your homeschool family and interfere with your homeschool faith.
Unfortunately, our family only knows too well that these following opinions are not only damaging to your family, but to the homeschool community as well. I can’t say that our family was guilty of all these myths or narrow-minded beliefs, but several of them were enough to cause our family to repent.
Thank God, for his mercy and grace. It has taking us several years to become a joyful family again when it comes to our homeschool and extra-curricular activities.
The 5 Legalistic Myths That Will Destroy your Homeschool Faith and Family Life
- All public school is bad. Yes, I totally understand that you and I believe that homeschool is the best option for our children. But let’s face it, some parents don’t have what it takes to teach their children. Some parents have to work to provide for their children. What about single parents? If God doesn’t place it on their heart or they have no desire, they will fail as homeschool parents. I have come across a family that the mother states that she is not good at the homeschool thing, but she believes it’s better they learn nothing than go to the public school. This is border line child abuse in my book.
- The only homeschool curriculum that will educate children throughly is the one you have chosen for your family. This is hogwash! I have 6 children and all of them learn differently, so how do you suppose one curriculum can accommodate all children’s learning style? Thankfully, there is a vast variety of homeschool curriculum that can reach each child’s need.
- You don’t allow your children to socialize with children who are not homeschooled. I have to admit, I am very selective who my children associate with, but there was a time when my children only associated with homeschool children including our church family. I am here to testify that there was more bullying going on in that church than any other group or activity we have ever participated in. Yep, it’s a true story. We switched churches where there were very few homeschool families and my children were accepted and loved by all. The other children actually envied my children due to the fact that they were homeschooled. I was very selective of who they associated with outside of church, but it all worked out fine. These precautions should be present regardless of whether the children are homeschooled or not.
- You fear the Internet. Yes, absolutely you need to have strict family Internet guidelines, but by not allowing your children to be on the Internet at all during their older childhood, you will not be preparing them for the outside world. I know a homeschool family that does not own a computer and their 7 children have no idea what a spreadsheet is or how to even turn on a computer. So unless you are training your children to become Amish then please teach them basic computer skills with caution. I am not talking Facebook or social media, but simple computer skills.
- Your homeschool method is the best for all homeschool families. This goes along the line with homeschool curriculum, but I have been on forums where people have been bashing other homeschool methods which only resulted in discouraging others. A forum needs to be a place for encouragement not bashing. This only leaves people discouraged and confused about their homeschool journey and sometimes it takes trial and error to find that ideal method. Don’t do it, please! Homeschool families need support!
I am well aware that some of you are offended, but that was not my intent. I just want others to know, we all need to stick together on this homeschool journey, not form a division. Of course, we all have differences. God created us all different, but we can support one another. If you are not part of our frugal homeschool mom facebook group, join now for lots of encouragement and great ideas. Don’t worry, we monitor it closely and will not tolerate any ugliness.
On another note, please don’t make the same 7 Mistakes I have made in our homeschool journey.
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If your homeschool faith and family life is legalistic, than take this up with the Lord. He will comfort and guide you. He did for our family.
I agree 100%! Thank you for this!!
Who is your intended audience for #4? LOL I’m pretty sure those who are guilty are not reading this. Just kidding! I do realize that you wrote that not as much for the guilty but for those who are being judged and condemned by those who are guilty. It just made me giggle.
Praise God for the many choices He provides to all of us, so that different needs for individuals and for families can be met! Thank you for the encouragement to follow what God places on my heart for my children and to encourage others for what is placed in their heart for their children!
I do not hold to any of those but the first one, public schools are no good period, they are not God filled places, where everything is saturated with God, but everything is saturated with culture, secular culture. No I am not legalistic, but at the same time I will not as a christian, put my children in a situation to be attacked by Satan. Public school was not mandated by God, and if God is not for it, then well God is not in it! And if God is not in it, we all know who is! Other then that, you are correct we can become legalistic, and start to think our way is the only way, but there are absolutes their are black and whites when it comes to rights and wrongs, and public school is wrong for a Christian! We are called to be separate not to conform to culture but to live apart from it, and public school is an education in secular culture, for any child that goes there, they will be immersed in the secular world and soon they will come out looking and acting like the secular world. If you send your child to Cesar, don’t be surprised if they come back Romans. Voddie Baucham. The Hebrew Christians of the bible time, would not even think of sending their children off to be schooled in the culture of the time, they wanted their children immersed in God’s word, and away from secular culture till they had on the full armor of God. We are in a spiritual war every single day, don’t send your children off to that war before they are even equipped to battle in it. Just my two or three cents worth.
I believe it really does depend on the school. My sister and I went to public school, but my parents were very careful when we moved to the area to research the school districts before they got a house. Because of that, we got to go to an amazing school that had a lot of Christian teachers and faculty. While they couldn’t preach to the students (since it was still a public school) a lot of them were not afraid to make their beliefs known. One of my teachers even left the year I graduated and became a youth pastor. If you find a good school district and train your kids while they are at home to know what is right and wrong, then public school can be a good thing. There are some lessons learned there that you may not get a chance to learn elsewhere.
I agree with you!
THANK YOU so much for this. I have considered homeschooling my child. I will be homeschooling him for preschool next year and we have not made a decision beyond that. I have been reading a lot about homeschooling as I am seriously torn on the issue. I have prayed and will continue to pray, but I also feel my job is rewarding in ways God commends too. So, as I explore my options fully, it is nice to see this post. Most I read sound promising from their title and then immediately turn me off. I work in a specialized area of public schools, and see the flaws of the system first hand. However, I know there are flaws to every system. I find many homeschooling pages I read bash the public school systems, the teachers and all who participate in it. I get why, as it’s not the path they chose, but I also see through my job the amazing resources public school can and does provide. I see success stories that would bring tears to anyone’s eyes. I see kids from Christian families inviting non-Christians to church functions. And truly I am amazed. I know these moments are rare, but I also feel like they are rare because so many wonderful Christian families do not want their kids to affiliate with kids who are not Christians. I get it, and I don’t get it, all at the same time. Thank you for not bashing the public schools. I am a product of them, as is my husband and I think we’re doing pretty well!! I live in the middle of a big city (not a suburb at all!) and I can see both pros and cons to sending my son to public schools. I am much more likely to hear what someone has to say when they are aware that bashing public schools doesn’t help their efforts any. Thank you again, and sorry for the rambling! 🙂
Everyone needs to make the best decision for their family. I believe a majority of parents have the best interest of their children in mind.
Who did Jesus associate and hang out with? Just other Cheistians? Nope…….cheaters, prostitutes, sinners. Something to think about.
*Christians*
Jesus was also Jesus. Our children are not prepared for spiritual warfare. Although there is a chance that or children will influence the others, there’s a good possibility or children will be more influenced by the secular society. I see it as my responsibility to grow my children in a safe place, where they cab grow spiritually before having to battle against worldly influences. I think every parent should choose what’s best for there family, but there is no comparison between Jesus trying to save sinners and out children whom are not even a little prepared for that battle.
And Jesus was 30 before he was called to associate with those people… AFTER he spent time in the synaguoges and with his family growing in wisdom and stature before God and men.
Yes, but Jesus was a grown man who knew no sin. It’s not the same as putting my 12 year old in a secular system. How strong in the faith and resolute do you expect a 12 year old to be? Do you expect your child to be grounded enough to resist the temptations from secular kids?
It needed to be said – all of it! thank you! You spoke thoughtfully and carefully yet truthfully! 🙂
Thank you, Jen.
I read a lot of blogs, seldom comment. I like this, I like your honesty. Thanks 😉
Thank you AnaMaree for your sweet words.
Thank you so much for this!
You are welcome, Tara.
Over my 17 years of homeschooling I have come to the same conclusions you express here (and a few more that we should blog about!) Thank you for sharing your thoughts in a respectable manner.
Thank you, Holly.
Thanks for posting this. I’ve noticed many of these mindset as I’ve begun to engage the homeschooling community in my own work. It’s a different community when you’re no longer a student, but a fellow teacher.
I would add to what you say the observation that I think these mind sets that you’ve listed actually can create separation between parents and children, which defeats a core goal of homeschooling, which is to foster family ties.
Appreciate your exhortation!
The more years that pass homeschooling my six…the more I realize there is only One source to which all is found…my Lord. And boy does He bring what is needed for each child (and their mom)! So glad He is God of the homeschooler and public schooler and mom 🙂
‘O my soul, you have said to the LORD, “You are my Lord, My goodness is nothing apart from You.”‘ Ps 16:2
amen to this!
I could kiss you right on the lips for this post! But then it might offend someone. 😉
Isn’t that the truth. lol!
I am a homeschooling mom of 22 years now, with 2 of my 9 kiddos in college right now. One of those children will graduate with her teaching degree and plans to teach in the public schools to try to impact the kids lives and improve the system. With homeschooling for so long and so many different kids I have gone through most of the feelings described at one time or another. I had even sent the two in college back to public schoo for a brief timel in grade school and junior high. I will say the worldly influence there is difficult for children to not succumb to, but not all school systems are equally deficient. I believe all kids could benefit from the homeschool approach to teaching. But, most schools can not afford the time to give each child that attention, and not every parent has what it takes to teach their child. I would suggest that every parent take the preschool and kindergarten years to attempt to teach their child and in this process learn who your child is and how they learn best. At the very least, if decide homeschooling is not for you, you can offer insight to the teacher that is investing in your childs education and future. Thank you for the honesty in this article. It is something all parents need to consider before and as we teach our children more than just a book learned education.